Monkeys and Machetes

A view of the farm with dozens

of acres of forest behind

 I spent the last two days on a fairly rustic farm in the northwestern province of Guanacaste. The property belonged to my boss Pablo’s mother, and he kindly invited me to come along while he did some monthly maintenance work on it. We left at 6 o’clock Thursday evening with a four-hour drive ahead of us – a drive that Pablo comically prefaced with the sincere warning: “Just so you know, I can get very sleepy on car rides so make sure you poke me or something if I start to drift off.” Needless to say, I made every effort to maintain a constant flow of conversation and succeeded in keeping Pablo conscious; but the drive was slightly terrifying nonetheless. The majority of Costa Ricans could pass as NYC taxi drivers, so any time spent on the roads here is a bit nerve-wracking. Dealing with these motorists in the dark, though, during torrential downpours, on winding, pothole-ridden roads (and after just hearing about my boss’s narcoleptic tendencies) certainly made for some very tense moments. But we got there in one piece!

We went to bed soon after arriving at the farm, and, the next morning, I was woken up at about 5 o’clock by the loud, persistent crowing of a rooster. This natural alarm clock wasn’t entirely unwelcome, as I’d already been planning to get up at 5:30 to run. But, I definitely wouldn’t opt for it every day. The absence of a snooze button on roosters must have gotten an awful lot of them killed prematurely over the years!

The run I had was interesting – and, again, slightly terrifying. Costa Rica is very much alive at 5:00 in the morning, and I spent most of my six miles trying to identify all of the strange noises surrounding me. The deep groans from the trees creeped me out until I remembered Pablo mentioning something about howler monkeys the day before (to listen, click here). And the aggressive, very fast dogs that kept chasing me forced me to be on my guard at all times. I eventually resorted to running the final three miles with a large branch in my hand to fend off the many canine attackers. (It worked…and I’ll definitely be doing that more often!)

Danilo leading the way 

with machete in hand

Once we started working, I felt much safer.
Not only were the dogs gone, but I wound up trekking around with three Costa Ricans – each bearing a machete or a chainsaw. The farm was very far from what I had envisioned. There were no crops anywhere to be seen; it was just an enormous property composed of 170 acres of rich forest. Our task was to clear any dead or fallen trees that were obstructing the perimeter fence. Given the property’s size, this made for a lot of hiking and roughly eight hours of work. It was a nice break from working at UPEACE and it was an even better way to see a beautiful part of the country. During the day, I saw dozens of wild howler monkeys and a handful of white-faced monkeys; I got within ten feet of a tree full of American black vultures; I saw from a distance Mel Gibson’s enormous ocean-side mansion; and I took in some gorgeous views of volcanoes and the Pacific Ocean. I also learned how to use a machete and witnessed some very creative ways to cut down trees and sharpen a chainsaw blade. (Our guide, Danilo, was something like Aragorn from Lord of the Rings with all the tricks he had up his sleeve.) All in all, it made for a fun trip and gave me an authentic glimpse of life in the Costa Rican countryside.

On the agenda for tomorrow: buckling down and studying some Spanish!